Bliss & Bloom Blog

Tag: journey

  • Why Boundaries Are Essential for Self-Care and Self-Love

    For years, I thought setting boundaries was selfish. Growing up, I was taught that family always came first and that I should bend over backward to keep the peace. But as I started on my self-care journey, I realized that my energy and well-being were taking a back seat. I felt drained and stressed, constantly putting myself second (or last) to accommodate others. It took time, but eventually, I understood that setting boundaries was one of the most loving things I could do for myself.

    Boundaries are like the invisible fences we put around our energy, emotions, and mental well-being. They let us know where we end and someone else begins, giving us space to breathe and recharge. When we set boundaries, we’re telling ourselves, “I matter.” It’s a way to communicate to others that while we value them, we also value ourselves. Without these boundaries, we risk burnout, resentment, and exhaustion—feelings that serve no one.

    Looking back, I see that setting boundaries was a turning point in my journey of self-love. I began to see my needs as valid, and that was a powerful shift. In a way, boundaries became the ultimate form of self-respect. When I set a boundary, I was saying, “I am worthy of peace and respect.”

    Understanding the Reaction of Others

    If only everyone celebrated boundaries! But often, that’s not the case. When I started setting boundaries with family, I wasn’t met with understanding. Some people felt hurt; others accused me of being distant, selfish, or even disrespectful. It hurt, especially coming from people I deeply cared about.

    Here’s what I came to realize: when someone reacts negatively to boundaries, it usually says more about them than it does about us. Setting a boundary is like holding up a mirror to someone’s own behavior, and sometimes, people don’t like what they see. They might be used to a dynamic where they come first, and they’re not comfortable with the shift. Or, they may not have boundaries of their own, so seeing you set them feels foreign or even threatening.

    But here’s the thing—I didn’t set boundaries to control anyone else’s behavior. I set them because I wanted to take care of myself. I had to remind myself that people’s reactions to my boundaries were theirs to manage, not mine. It’s not easy to separate yourself from those emotions, but it’s necessary. People can feel however they want to feel; I can still stand by what I know is right for me.

    Realizing You’re Not Responsible for Others’ Emotions

    Letting go of the need to “fix” everyone’s feelings was one of the hardest parts. I used to feel responsible for keeping everyone around me happy, especially family. But constantly carrying the weight of others’ emotions left me feeling depleted. I learned that just because someone feels upset doesn’t mean I’ve done something wrong. Emotions are personal, and everyone is responsible for managing their own.

    In one particular instance, a family member called to express how hurt they were by my “new attitude.” They felt like I was shutting them out, but what I was really doing was protecting my peace. I had to remind myself that their emotions were valid, but I didn’t need to absorb them as my own. I could offer compassion without taking on their pain.

    This was a game-changer for me. By accepting that I’m not responsible for how others feel about my boundaries, I could set them without guilt. Boundaries don’t mean I love them any less; they mean I love myself enough to know when to step back.

    Learning Not to Expect from Others What You Would Give

    One of the biggest “aha” moments came when I stopped expecting people to treat me the way I treated them. I used to feel so frustrated and hurt when I gave my all to a relationship and didn’t receive the same in return. But I’ve learned that we can’t control other people’s choices; we can only control our own.

    This realization was liberating. No longer feeling disappointed or betrayed by unmet expectations freed me from unnecessary heartache. I learned that I could still be kind, loving, and respectful without expecting others to act the same. My boundaries helped me accept people for who they were without compromising who I am.

    It was a process, but learning to meet others where they are without expecting them to change became a cornerstone of my boundary-setting journey. When I stopped expecting others to mirror my energy, I found I could interact with family without feeling drained. It became easier to love without strings attached, knowing that their behavior no longer dictated my self-worth.

    How Boundaries Led to Personal Growth and Inner Peace

    As challenging as it was to set these boundaries, the growth and peace I’ve gained are worth every moment of discomfort. Before boundaries, I was in a constant state of giving, often forgetting that I had needs of my own. By giving myself permission to prioritize my well-being, I opened the door to growth and healing.

    With time, I felt lighter, more centered, and more confident in who I am. Setting boundaries isn’t about keeping people out; it’s about creating the space to be my fullest self. I began to discover my values, recognize my limits, and embrace the beauty of my own company. I no longer felt guilty for saying “no” or for putting myself first.

    Boundaries taught me that I don’t have to sacrifice my peace to make others comfortable. I’m allowed to look out for myself, and by doing so, I show up as a better, more present version of myself. The peace that comes from honoring my boundaries has been life-changing, and I’ve realized that self-care is not just a luxury—it’s a necessity.

    How to Start Setting Boundaries in Your Own Life

    If you’re wondering how to start setting boundaries, know that it’s a process. Boundaries don’t happen overnight, and it’s okay if they feel uncomfortable at first. Here are a few steps that helped me:

    1. Identify What You Need: Reflect on the areas of your life where you feel drained or unappreciated. What do you need to feel safe and respected? Knowing your needs is the first step in setting boundaries.

    2. Communicate with Clarity and Compassion: When expressing a boundary, try to be clear yet gentle. Share how you feel and why the boundary is important to you. “I need time to recharge” or “I feel overwhelmed when this happens” can be powerful phrases.

    3. Practice Saying ‘No’ Without Guilt: Remember, “no” is a complete sentence. Saying “no” doesn’t make you a bad person—it makes you someone who values their own time and energy.

    4. Expect Resistance, but Stay Firm: People might push back, and that’s normal. Stand firm in your decision, reminding yourself of why this boundary is essential for your well-being.

    5. Be Kind to Yourself: Setting boundaries is an act of self-love, but it takes practice. Give yourself grace as you navigate this new territory.

    The Year in Reflection: The Impact of Boundaries on My Life

    Looking back on this year of setting boundaries, I feel immense gratitude for the peace it has brought into my life. My decision to go no-contact with certain family members was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but also one of the most freeing. I’ve learned that I don’t have to stay in situations that make me feel small or undervalued. By prioritizing my well-being, I’ve created a life that feels authentic, joyful, and aligned with my values.

    For anyone on this journey, remember that boundaries are not walls; they’re bridges to a healthier, happier you. Setting boundaries is not about shutting others out but about letting yourself in. Boundaries are an ongoing commitment to yourself, a promise to honor your needs and respect your own worth.

    This year, I’ve learned to show up for myself in ways I never thought possible. I’ve embraced self-care not as a fleeting act but as a lifestyle rooted in respect for myself. And as I look to the future, I’m reminded that every boundary I set is a step toward a life that feels truly mine.

  • Feeling Lost, Rushed, and Disappointed: Navigating Life’s Uncertainties and Finding New Paths

    Lately, I’ve been feeling lost. Not in a dramatic, fall-off-the-cliff kind of way, but more like standing at a crossroads, not sure which direction to take next. There’s a sense of being rushed, like life is moving too fast, yet I’m not getting anywhere I want to be. And I’ve felt disappointed too — disappointed in where I am, what I’ve accomplished, and how distant some of my dreams seem.

    But here’s the thing: I know I’m not alone. Many of us feel this way at one point or another. The sense of burnout, exhaustion, and the overwhelming pressure to achieve can make us wonder if we’re on the right path at all. With so many ways to make an income, so many lifestyles to choose from, how do we decide? How do we even begin to figure out what’s meant for us?

    The Overwhelm of Choices

    In today’s world, there are endless ways to earn a living, and that’s both a blessing and a curse. There’s the traditional 9-to-5 job, freelancing, starting your own business, content creation, investments, and side hustles. The options are limitless. And with so many choices, it can feel paralyzing to make a decision. How do you know which one is the right one for you? How do you stop second-guessing yourself once you’ve made a choice?

    This is where I’ve found myself recently. I look around, and it feels like everyone is doing something different. Some are making huge strides, others seem content in their stability, and here I am, wondering how I fit into it all. It’s easy to feel stuck when it seems like everyone else is figuring out their paths while you’re still unsure of yours.

    Burnout: The Silent Struggle

    I’ve realized that I’m experiencing burnout — not just physical exhaustion but emotional and mental fatigue too. It creeps up on you slowly. At first, it’s just a tired feeling that you shrug off. You tell yourself, “I just need a good night’s sleep, and I’ll be fine.” But then, one day, you wake up, and even the things that used to bring you joy feel like a burden.

    For me, burnout has been sneaky. It made me question my passions, my goals, and even my sense of self. I started to wonder, “Am I even on the right track?” I’ve always been a go-getter, someone with big dreams, and for so long, I imagined myself in a certain position — with a house, a family, and a career that made me feel proud. But lately, those visions feel distant. They don’t inspire me in the way they used to. Instead, I find myself thinking about how much more there is to life, how many more goals I have yet to achieve, and how I want more than just settling.

    Seeing Life Through a New Lens

    I’m starting to see life differently. The traditional 9-to-5 path that so many of us were raised to follow no longer feels like the only option — or even the best option. There’s more to life than just working to pay bills and putting dreams on hold for “someday.” I’m beginning to realize that we’re allowed to redefine success, and it doesn’t have to look like the neat, conventional picture we once imagined.

    For me, the idea of sticking to one income stream, one career, or one path feels limiting. We live in a world where multiple streams of income are not only possible but often necessary for financial security and freedom. The gig economy, the rise of entrepreneurship, and the digital space have opened up so many avenues. It’s both exciting and terrifying at the same time.

    The Belief in What’s Meant for You

    Despite the uncertainty I’ve been feeling, there’s one thing I know for sure: what is meant for you will always be yours. I’ve held onto this belief for years, and it has helped me through some of the most challenging times. There’s a sense of peace in knowing that the universe has a plan, even if it’s not always clear in the moment.

    But just because I believe this doesn’t mean I don’t have moments of doubt. It’s human nature to want to control everything, to have a clear roadmap that guarantees success. However, life doesn’t work that way. There’s an ebb and flow, a series of twists and turns that often take us by surprise. Sometimes, we’re meant to follow the winding path rather than the straight and narrow one.

    Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the goals I set for myself years ago. Back then, I thought I had it all figured out. I had this vision of where I would be by now — the house, the family, the perfect job. But life had other plans, and those dreams didn’t unfold the way I thought they would. And you know what? That’s okay. I’m learning that it’s okay for things to take longer than expected, and it’s okay to pivot when the path you’re on no longer feels right.

    Acknowledging the Need for Change

    The first step in moving forward is acknowledging where you are. For me, that meant admitting that I wasn’t happy with my current situation. I had to be honest with myself about the burnout, the feelings of being lost, and the disappointment. It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary.

    We live in a society that glorifies hustle culture — the idea that we should always be grinding, always pushing toward the next big thing. But that mindset is exhausting. It leaves no room for rest, reflection, or simply being. I’ve come to realize that taking a step back doesn’t mean you’re giving up; it means you’re regrouping, reassessing, and realigning with what truly matters.

    I had to ask myself some tough questions: What do I really want? What’s the end goal? Is it just about making money, or is there something deeper I’m searching for? These questions forced me to dig deep and reevaluate my priorities. And what I found was that I don’t want to settle. I don’t want to live a life that’s just “good enough.” I want more, and that’s not selfish — it’s necessary for my growth and fulfillment.

    The Pressure to Accomplish More

    It’s funny how, when you’ve achieved certain milestones, you still feel like there’s so much more to accomplish. For years, I had this image in my mind of what my life would look like once I “made it.” But as I’ve checked off some of those boxes, I’ve realized that achieving goals doesn’t automatically lead to contentment. Instead, it often sparks a desire for more — more growth, more learning, more experiences.

    That’s where I am right now: I’m proud of what I’ve done, but I know there’s still so much more ahead of me. And while that thought used to overwhelm me, I’m learning to embrace it. It’s okay to have big dreams and to work toward them, but it’s also important to recognize that fulfillment isn’t something that happens all at once. It’s a continuous journey, not a final destination.

    The Power of Reimagining Success

    One of the most significant shifts in my mindset has been redefining what success means to me. For so long, I tied success to external markers — a title, a salary, a certain lifestyle. But those things don’t necessarily equate to happiness or fulfillment. Now, I’m starting to see success as something more personal. It’s about aligning with my values, pursuing my passions, and creating a life that feels authentic to who I am.

    Success doesn’t have to look the same for everyone, and that’s a beautiful thing. Some people find fulfillment in a stable, 9-to-5 job, while others thrive in more unconventional careers. Some are content with one income stream, while others feel called to explore multiple avenues. There’s no right or wrong way to do life — only the way that feels right for you.

    Moving Forward with Intention

    So, where do I go from here? I’m still figuring that out. But I know that moving forward means being intentional about my choices. It means letting go of the pressure to have everything figured out and allowing myself the space to explore, pivot, and grow.

    I’m learning to prioritize rest and self-care, especially in the face of burnout. I’m also giving myself permission to take risks, try new things, and fail along the way. There’s power in the unknown, in the willingness to step outside of your comfort zone and embrace uncertainty.

    If you’re feeling lost, rushed, or disappointed in where you are right now, know that it’s okay. It’s part of the process. Life isn’t always linear, and sometimes the detours are where we find the most growth. Keep believing that what’s meant for you will always be yours, and trust that you’re exactly where you need to be, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

    This journey is uniquely yours, and there’s no deadline for success. So take a deep breath, give yourself grace, and know that it’s okay to want more — and it’s okay to take your time figuring out what that more looks like.